singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
