last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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