ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
