just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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