Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
