he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize