he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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