there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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