if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
