When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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