i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
