You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
