our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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