Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
