it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
