Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry MMchick hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Toronto

So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises

Fav 15 1813 997
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

Fav 31 7273 1273
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Toronto

Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?

(416): View more from Toronto

Better looking than her though please.

Fav 29 2443 6619
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

Fav 16 3885 1253
share tweet
(949): View more from California

I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.

Fav 4 890 1289
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.

Fav 2 1267 826
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

Fav 2 1487 675
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.

Fav 3 528 430
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.

Fav 0 24 77
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT