Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize