My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
