I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
