so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
