apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
