Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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