I'm really into asian looking animals
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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