dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
