So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
