Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
