i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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