How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
