he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
