Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We got so high we made milksteak
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
