no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
