I'm laying in your front yard are you home
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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