Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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