Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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