Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
