it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
