Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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