Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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