I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
