Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
