umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i came on her dog
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
PANTIES FOUND
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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