He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
