ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I checked into jail on foursquare
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize