I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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