You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have aggressive nipples.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize