Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
