Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
