my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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