Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
