I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
