would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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