You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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