NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
