I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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