you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize