talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
