okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
