I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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