dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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