Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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