scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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