Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
