Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
