i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize