I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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