I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
