Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize